FAQ Attack!
Q: What's a Nobo?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! A Nobo is a member of the ruling class of the Hobocracy!Q: What's the Hobocracy?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! The Hobocracy is the society we should all dream of!Q: Will you please speak English for five damn minutes and explain this whole Hobocracy, Nobo thing to me?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! Our ideal society is called the Hobocracy. Within the Hobocracy there are three types of people, all of which play a key role in keeping society together: Nobos, Hobos, and Carneys. As previously stated, Nobos are at the top of this social structure. Nobos are men-of-action, captains of industry, Go-get'ers! Hobos are the surfs of the Hobocracy, rallying around, working/fighting for, and being supported by a Nobo. Carneys exist outside of the Nobo/Hobo relationship. Their function is utilitarian in nature.Q: ... huh?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! A Hobo needs a Nobo, just as a Nobo needs a Hobo. Nobos provide vittles and bindles to Hobos, among other things crucial to the survival of the Hobo. The Hobo, in turn, becomes a part of the Nobo's Hobo Army. A Nobo without a Hobo army is No-Bo at all.Q: ... Hobo army?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! Within the Hobocracy, your status as a Nobo is dependant upon the size and strength of your Hobo army. Lesser Nobos might only be able to rally two or three Hobos, while mighty Nobos might have a Hobo army numbering in the thousands. A Nobo uses several things to attract Hobos to his cause, chiefly his or her oratory skills and ability to provide vittles to the Hobos.Q: Other than stature, why does a Nobo need a Hobo army?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! To settle disputes with other Nobos! A Nobo isn't going to take his rings off or roll up his sleeves to scrap with another Nobo! Especially when he has a Hobo army at his disposal!Q: So... these Nobos make their Hobos fight other Hobos?
A: Oh yeah, all the time. It's awesome.Q: What happens to the losing Nobo?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! He or she, along with the surviving members of his or her former Hobo army, are folded into the Hobo army of the winning Nobo.Q: So if a Nobo loses a dispute with another Nobo, he or she then becomes a Hobo?
A: Yup. Life's a bitch, ain't it?Q: How do Carneys fit into all this?
A; That's a stupid question, bakehead! As previously stated, Carneys perform a utilitarian role. They clear battlefields of Hobo carcasses. They run large-scale bindle manufacturing operations. They entertain Hobo and Nobo alike with crooked Whack-A-Mole, dart, and ring-toss games. They are the glue that holds together the gears of the Hobocracy.Q: Why doesn't anyone rally a Carney army?
A: What are you, simple?! You can't rally a Carney army!Q: Why?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! a.) Not even the most powerful Nobos would have the oratory skills needed to fast-talk a Carney into his or her army. No one has ever been able to do it. Ever. b.) What could you possibly offer a Carney to solicit his or her loyalty? Vittles? A genuine Carney-crafted bindle? Carneys scough at these things!Q: Why doesn't some Nobo with a mighty army try to subjugate the Carneys?
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! Only the foolish try to move their armies against the Carneys. Most who try are never heard from again, or turn up in thousands of tiny pieces mixed in a funnel cake. Need proof on how tough Carneys are? Next time you're at the fair, slap the bearded lady. You'll learn a whole new definition of pain as every Carney within a five-mile radius tears you limb from limb.Q: Okay, so why don't the Carneys rally a Hobo army to subjugate the Nobos?
A: What do I look like, Dr. Carney McCarney, Ph.D., Senior Professor of Carney Studies at Carney State University? No one fully understands the Carneys but the Carneys! Their ways are mysterious! They keep to themselves. One day they're here, the next they're gone.Q: So, is there any way to improve ones social standing? I don't want to be a Hobo forever...
A: That's a stupid question, bakehead! Of course! Just as a Nobo can fall, a Hobo can rise. Sometimes a Nobo's army becomes too large for him or her to manage. Dissention will inevitably break out within the ranks of the Hobo army. If a Hobo within said army, using his or her superior oratory skills, can talk his or her fellow Hobos into striking out on their own, he or she has just become a lesser Nobo. Of course, if the new lesser Nobo cannot provide for his Hobo army, I can't imagine that they would stick around for too long.Q: How does one become a Carney?
A: You gotta be born into it, man. It's like a union gig. That having been said, there are legends...Q: So let me get this straight- The Hobocracy is a society where an upper echilon of people, the Nobos, use their power, money, and oratory skills to rally armies that consist of a lesser tier of people, the Hobos. These armies war against each other to settle disputes between the Nobos-
A: And sometimes, just for the fun of it!Q: ...And sometimes just for the fun of it. Upward mobility with the caste system isn't impossible, while downward mobility happens as a result of a single battle loss. While all this is happening, there are Carneys entertaining you, and cleaning up your dead.
A: Tally! Now get out of here before I throw golf cleats at you!
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